Sex, Politics, and Shemar Moore: Writing Appealing Blog Posts


I’ve been monitoring my blog stats, and in spite of my tireless attempts to get my name out in the world this past week, my latest post didn’t earn much more than a public yawn. Hmm. On the other hand, my post about Internet Use Disorder, provocatively titled “Trapped in Internet Use Disorder, or, My New IUD,” has one of the highest hit counts of all my posts.

What’s in a name? A boatload, apparently.

Don't make me pull out the political stops!
More like this could -- gasp -- follow!
The blog posts in which I flex my political muscles also seem to get some attention. I lovingly blame this on surrounding myself with highly political peeps. I’ve mentioned this before, but before submitting Hunted to a publisher, I read heaps and tons of advice on the Interwebs. Much of it varied, but one thing stood out: Especially if you’re a romance writer, don’t be political. It’s kinda like those tepid pop songs on the radio: few love them at first, but no one can hate them based on their universally trite, militantly vacuous lyrics.*

Of course, I scoffed at those warnings when plotting The Tithe, my latest novel, which is unfortunately and currently moving along at a glacial pace. Its basic premise includes delving into some cultural effects of Abrahamic religions and dis/abilities. I’m a laugh riot like that. And yeah, I’m also pretty invested in cutting my own authorly throat.

But to get back to my meta-blog-post navel gazing, I find myself at a crossroads. Should I pen more political posts? Believe me, that wouldn’t be a problem. Or, in the hopes of appealing to an ever-expanding group of readers (one can dream), should I keep the politics fairly light in this blog?** 

Regardless of the answer to that question, I have internalized one lesson: Use sexy names for the blog posts. In that spirit, here is a smattering of proposed future blog titles (warning: rather tasteless language and images): 
Shemar Moore serves no purpose in this post.
Really, though, does one need a reason
to post Shemar Moore?
  • “Glistening, Shirtless Pirates Rub Up against Visual Stereotypes” 
  • “Doggy Style, or How to Include Animals in Your Novel” 
  • “Shemar Moore Inspired Reed in Hunted Dreams” (actually true)
  • “Ableism SUCKS… But at Least I Reached 75K in My Latest Novel!"
  • “Follow Unceasingly the Course of Kindness, or How I Give a FUCK” 
  • “Sex Scenes: Does Every Author Hate Writing Them as Much as I Do?” 
  • “Are My Heroes Really Butch Lesbians, As Some Have Claimed?” 
  • “Racial Tokenism in Mainstream Novels” 
  • “Simultaneous Orgasms in Novels? PUHLEEZE!”


Um. Is it so wrong that I now actually want to write most of these?


* In the spirit of honesty, and in spite of my political, literary, and musical backgrounds, I’m an enthusiastic fan of pop music. Don’t judge. 
** My form of politics usually involves identity politics, not pleas for or against particular political candidates. 

Comments

  1. Lauri J OwenMay 10, 2013 at 5:46 PM

    Do you know that the best part of this post is your pseudo-Catholic need to publicly confess? it made me ROAR!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elle HillMay 10, 2013 at 6:03 PM

      Which confession? My guilty confession that I consume pop music? Yes, I definitely seek absolution for that.

      Delete
    2. Elle HillMay 10, 2013 at 6:04 PM

      And as I always say, Catholics and Jews got nothin' on ex-Pentecostals in terms of internalized guilt!

      Delete
  2. UnknownMay 11, 2013 at 3:58 PM

    You should write all of those proposed blogs!! Love them!

    ReplyDelete

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