I Make My Own News... Literally

Because my three faithful readers deserve to suffer as much as my students through my attempts at humor, below is a goofy, fake news story I wrote to fill a PowerPoint slide for my Sociology of Mass Media course. We're discussing newspapers and news this week. 

Enjoy, or at least try not to hurt yourself rolling your eyes.


SOCIOLOGIST WANTED FOR CHALLENGING NEWS

Rapid City, SD      Local authorities are on the hunt for Elle Hill, a local sociology instructor, for her participation in questioning media ethics.
Hill, who teaches a course entitled “Sociology of Mass Media,” was quoted by one of her students as saying, “We've turned our mass media, major sources of knowing and understanding, into money-making machines, and this makes news and information into commodities. Should news be something purchasable, something shaped by market forces rather than human decency?”
“I was like, ‘whoa,’” one student, who asked to be called “Moe,” commented. “Maybe we should call the authorities. I mean, this is one rabble-rousing schoolteacher.”
University students report Hill has a history of questioning media and other institutions.
“It’s like she’s asking us to be critical all the time,” “Nancey,” a longtime student, complained. “Hasn’t she ever heard ‘if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all’?”
Hill, on the lam, could not be reached for comments.  
Citizens who encounter Hill are urged to cover their ears and sing, "La la la" while dialing 9-1-1.

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