Friday, August 12, 2016

Updating the Masses

The family crest I made for my furkids-
and-fairy-tale-themed wedding.
Faithful readers (which pretty much means my best friend and my ex, but still), I have missed you. Like, a lot. Life has been pretty ridiculous lately, though, what with the wedding thingy, teaching a summer class, and then prepping for the new semester. Also, in the last few months, I, the inveterate hater of travel, have gallivanted to Seattle, L.A., Denver (two or three times), and Fort Collins. And Spearfish, South Dakota, but that doesn’t seem quite as impressive. It does have nice scenery, though.

To keep our relationship fresh and updated and to explain my unseemly absence, here’s what’s happened in my world in the last couple of months:

  1. I DIYed a good chunk of my wedding. I am the invitation-penningest, program-designingest, escort-card-makingest, centerpiece-strategizingest, travel-organizingest, vendor-liaisingest, sign-creatingest, DJ-song-list-compilingest bride evuh!
  2. I added zero words to my stagnating, paranormal romance novel. Zero. Words.
  3. I taught a rousing Social Psychology class. While prepping for, doing, and recovering from my wedding.
  4. I got married and stuff. That was, well, stressful. Beautiful, touching, and expensive. But also enormously stressful. In fact, on the day of my wedding, I had almost zero sleep, forgot to eat, had no time to myself, experienced a bout of low blood sugar before the ceremony, and ended up leaving the reception after 90 minutes to spend the rest of the night getting sick in my hotel room. Ah, memories. In spite of all that, though, I cried throughout my own ceremony and am convinced nothing in the world could be more beautiful and moving. Besides cats, of course.
  5. Some unhappy and yucky stuff happened, but let’s keep that in the rearview mirror.
  6. To distract myself from wedding and class stressors, I probably consumed two dozen novels. If I read one more word about a six-foot shero who weighs 120 pounds or a shero-who-thinks-she’s-so-unattractive-but-who-has-a-passel-of-men-who-want-to-have-monkey-sex-with-her-and/or-immediately-marry-her©, I’m gonna go all wedding night again. And I mean my wedding night, not
    A candid shot my sister took on the
    day of my wedding.
    This pretty much sums it up.
    the traditional, arguably less messy, one.
  7. My lungs were grumpy little traitors, and I suffered through a chest cold that lasted through two weeks and three bottles of cough syrup.
  8. I signed up for a poetry half-marathon, which begins tomorrow. More on that later.
  9. I tried lavender scones and Fruity Pebbles Rice Krispy treats. Oh. Mah. God. 

As you can see, I’ve not neglected you all because I wanted to. Even my novel reading served an essential, sanity-saving function. I’m back now, though, and feel ready to start penning twelve delicious poems.

Oh and btw, I have some sage advice for any engaged folks out there: Elope.

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